This really says it all.  MANY MANY MANY Thanks to Ann Tyzo who put so much time and careful, deliberate thought into the ceremony as well as performed it.  She took so much time with us both making sure we knew and said just what we needed and wanted to.  She made us really think about why we were getting married.  Then, to top it off, she surprised us by having each of our parents say something to us during it.  It was really one of the most incredible times of our lives.  Joe, our wonderful Photographer, and "Boogie" Brent, our fantastic D.J. both noted how involved they were just listening.  If you weren't at the ceremony, well, you saved yourself many tears :}  Of course we think it was absolutely the most beautiful ceremony, but I think most everyone who attended would also agree :)  Have a read and see if you do :)  I do need to note that Ann wrote this herself, along with Brad and I, and no portion of it should be used without express permission.

   The Ceremony   

Good afternoon. Brad and Vicki, along with their parents, would like to welcome each one of you to this special event. By your presence here today to witness and celebrate this union of hearts, you are expressing your love and support for Vicki and Brad. You will always be part of their memory of this most important day, and for this they would like to thank you. The two of you will remember this day and everything about it for years to come. You can look back at pictures, reminisce with family and friends and relive this day whenever you choose. All of the feelings and emotions of this day will be held in your hearts and you can call upon them whenever you desire.

Many weddings and ceremonies have been performed and witnessed. Some services are traditional, which are familiar to all – while others deviate from the norm. This ceremony is special. I cannot remember when a bride and groom were more concerned with the words contained in the ceremony. This was the most important thing to Vicki and Brad. They want to express exactly what is in their hearts, to each other, and to you, their family and friends. And the liturgy is really a true testament to their love.

Hopefully, by the moment when the groom kisses the bride, you will have a better understanding of this couple and of their relationship. And we will start with how they met.

Sit back and relax folks because Vicki wrote a book.

I cannot remember the exact date on which I met Bradley. Early in 1996, I was new to Florida and Boca West. I was meeting new people just about every day. We probably met in the dining room, or at a tournament we both were working. What I do remember, however, is feeling SOMETHING. It was nothing I could put my finger on, nothing even conscious…there was just SOMETHING there. It may sound corny, and I am certain Brad would never believe me, but I simply always noticed him. I knew when he was around and almost found myself hoping he noticed me, too, sort of. I thought there was just a little more to him besides the wonderful charm, the light-up-a-conversation smile and the friendly flirtatiousness.

Eventually I found myself having to work with him a little more closely when I moved into Accounting in December. That 'thing' was still there, not that I ever would have said that to anyone. I suppose we had some mutual flirting encounters, usually with him asking, "So when are we going out?" And my usual demure laugh as a response. Well, I could only take so much of that teasing. One day after he posed the familiar, joking question, I followed him outside and asked if he was serious. He said he was. Great. First date planned.

There are not many things as sweet as my memory of that first date. Dinner at a local restaurant where I pondered heavily as to whether or not I should eat my chicken fingers with my fingers or with silverware. We talked first-date talk; a bit about work, a bit about other things we had in common. Typical stuff, I suppose. When we were finished, we went outside to sit. One of my favorite, rarely heard old songs came over the Musak. A song that reminded me of a time when everything was great, simple, and fun. I am a big believer in signs and fate…and it may seem silly to some, but that just fit.

Another one of those little things that I will always remember about the date. We decided to rent a movie. As we were walking towards the video store, the conversation had turned to our past relationships. He said to me, "I don't want anything serious right now. I'm just trying to have a good time." Aaaaaaalrighty then! Anyone who knows me knows that I immediately wear my emotions on my face when caught by surprise. He must not have been looking at me after he said that because he probably would have taken me home right then and there. Many months later he told me he only said it because he thought that was something I would want to hear. It wasn't, but I obviously got over the little sting that the comment had brought. We watched the movie, talked, and before he drove me home that night, we sat out in front of his house on the sidewalk looking up into the sky.

It was one of those perfect April nights in Florida (April 21, 1997 to be exact); cooled off from the daytime heat, big star-white moon hanging above and the still-blue sky with white clouds drifting almost casually by. It was, simply, perfect. I almost gushed like a teenager to Vern when I got home. I could not get the words out right or even fast enough. I do not mean to say that I was babbling…just that somehow words could not aptly tell the story. The next day, he asked me if I had fun…the usual after-first-date stuff. I said that I had. He asked me if I was busy that night. No. Next night? Nope. Night after? Ut-uh. In fact, after that first night, the rest of mine belonged to him. And they still do.

BRAD’S VERSION

Vicki used to serve me lunch at the Sports Pavilion. I was physically attracted to her but wasn’t available at the time to do anything about it. At one of the summer picnics, Vicki came into the shop soaked to the bone. She didn’t have any money and needed some dry socks, so I charged it on my account. I was impressed that she brought me the few dollars the very next day.

We played softball together and later told me that she got onto the co-ed team because of me. But I still think it was because the team went out drinking afterwards.

About a year after, I was unattached. Vicki was now working in accounting and, as a ruse, I would go down to see her and try to fix her up with Bobby, who had a huge crush on her. I would joke around saying that we should go out and one day, she followed me out and asked if I was serious. Thank you, God. I am not the approaching type and if she hadn’t asked me, I wouldn’t have had the nerve to ask her. Of course I’m serious, I told her and we made a date.

I recall the rest of the night as Vicki does. Except I said that I wasn’t looking for anything serious because I wasn’t one for casual relationships and thought she was going out just to have a good time. I do remember what she was wearing – white shorts and a long sleeved Polo, and her Bo-bo’s. (shoes). I was smitten and I didn’t care if she knew it. So I asked her out the next night and the next night. And to this day, she still calls me every time she hears that DuranDuran song on the radio.

Oh, one more thing – she had actually ASKED me if she could eat the chicken with her fingers. Of course, I said. And I would have gladly licked the grease off of hers afterwards if she had asked me to.

We’ve heard the details of your first date which was a very important night. That was when you two began life together. And now, the ones who gave you life desire to express what’s in their hearts on this day that their children marry.

Allow me to introduce Ron and Pat, Vicki’s parents:

We are happy beyond words to be here today to see you wed. We know that by this cermony, you are cementing a bond that is already strong and true, but it gives all of us an opportunity to celebrate that bond with you.

They say opposites attract, and at first glance you may seem to be opposites, but your opposing characteristics complement and complete each others’. On the other hand, your personal ethics, goals and ideals are the same. You’re both loving, strong, honest, hardworking, intelligent and resourceful.

Your patience, understanding and kindness as parents is easily seen by one glance at Kelsea.

We love and admire both of you and our wish for you today is that every future day you can be as happy as we are today.

Allow me to introduce Tom and Pam, Brads’ parents:

Pam and I were asked if we wished to say something during Vicki and Brad’s wedding ceremony. This request was made by Ann after meeting with Brad (JR) to go over what he wished to say to Vicki during the wedding vows. Pam and I both feel honored to be asked to do this. It is hard to call Brad, JR as he has been, and always will be our youngest son Brad. Pam and I have been extremely blessed with three healthy sons. They have given us much love, joy and pride in their accomplishments, each one in his own way as no two of them are alike. That is another blessing that we received. We firmly believe that showing love towards one another in our household helped our sons grow up as they have. Marriage is not something to jump into and out of lightly. It is a commitment to one another, to be there no matter what, in good and bad. Pam and I both know that JR has always been a very deliberate and determined individual.

He has always been someone that knows what he wants and plans his future. It is obvious to the both of us that he deeply loves Vicki and Kelsea. We also love them and think they are very special people. We welcomed them into our family and will be there for them whenever they need us. Grandma has gotten real good at booking flights on the computer.

This is our advice to our new daughter-in-law and son on their wedding day.

1. Always be willing to give and take. You will need to do both.
2. Love one another with all your heart and say it often.
3. Do things that show your love in gestures and looks.
4. Forgive one another’s mistakes as you are human and will make them.
5. Live your lives to their fullest, one day at a time.
6. Talk to each other, be each others best friend.
7. This is the most important. Take care of our Granddaughter Kelsea. She is a gift from God and we love her and you both very much.

God bless you both and may your love for one another grow deeper and stronger as the years go by.

Committing to a relationship is not an easy task. It is only in our adult years that we realize that daily maintenance and understanding is essential in keeping a relationship healthy. During our formative years, we require role models to show us what is proper and correct, or wrong and unacceptable. And we know that the greatest of all role models, the one which has the most effect on children, are parents. Growing up watching parents interact daily in their relationship with each other provides the template after which we children will develop our behavior and expectations in our adult relationships. We learn how to share, care, overlook short comings and faults, provide support, praise, forgive, and learn how to love.

So Ron and Pat, Tom and Pam, we are here today in part - a large part - because of you. You have given Vicki and Brad a sound foundation of warmth, caring, selflessness, charity and generosity, that enables them to give each to the other an open heart of love and friendship. They hold each other close, as you have done with them for all of these years. You have expressed your feelings for them, and now, they would like to pay tribute to you, to say thank you for all you have done, and to tell you that they love you very much. [Rose giving]

Why Marry?

The word marriage has as many different meanings as the number of couples entering into it. In the past, it was a necessity for survival of the species. The man would hunt and provide for his family as she would nest and care for the children. But it is no longer a necessity, it is an option. It is a choice. Some marry for perceived security. Some marry because their friends are doing it. Some marry to have children in a socially acceptable structure. Brad and Vicki have had a home together for over two years. They have been blessed with a beautiful daughter. They each have rewarding careers and other interests outside of the home. So I asked them - why marry? And they answered with this:

There are as many reasons to marry as there are ways in which to fall in love. For us, the answer is rather simple: we love each other so much that in front of God and our families and our friends, we want to make a promise and public declaration attesting to it. We want to share with the world this wonderful bond and life we have created together. Society does play a small role, of course, but no piece of paper will make our love and dedication any stronger. To us, marriage says "we love each other and we commit to that love with our minds as well as our souls. We are declaring our hopes and dreams of going through life holding each other’s hands not because we have to, but because we want to." And it really is as simple as that. We want to be married in all ways possible.

The Meaning of Marriage

Love is one of the highest experiences that we can have, and it adds depth of meaning to our lives. The day-to-day companionship - the pleasure in doing things together, or in doing separate things, and delighting to exchange experiences when we come back together - is a continuous and central part of what a man and a woman who love each other can share.

Marriage symbolizes the intimate sharing of two lives. A marriage that lasts is one which continues to develop and in which each person continues to develop, while growing in deeper understanding of the other person. Deep knowledge of another is not something that can be achieved in a short time, and real understanding of the other's feelings can develop fully only with years of intimacy. This wonderful knowledge of another person grows out of really caring for the other so much that one wants to understand as completely as possible just what the other is feeling. Thus, it is possible to share not only joys and successes, but also the burden of sorrows and failures. To be known in this way is a priceless thing, because such understanding and acceptance make it easier to live together in peace and happiness. May this be God's blessing upon you.

This moment in your lives holds great meaning for you and for us, your family and friends who love you and support you. Some of us have experienced with you and through you the statements in the traditional wedding vows, ‘for better or worse.’ ‘In sickness and in health.’ And we have witnessed your love seeing you through. Knowing your relationship has had it’s challenges, as well as its joys, offers a sense of surety to our prayers and wishes for your experience of life together.

I am not going to give you the "10 Surefire Ways to a Happy Marriage" because you already lovingly nourish your adventure together into a meaningful and fulfilling experience. You know what’s coming. You know what life is like together. You are entering into this marriage as two fully-aware adults.

This relationship, this union, began long before today. Today is only an affirmation of what has been in your hearts and souls for quite some time now. I know. I’ve witnessed it. Vicki, I’ve seen your blue eyes light up and your face beam each time he walks into your office. I know that it is Brad on the phone when I hear the loving lilt in your voice. Brad, I’ve seen your small actions of extraordinary care when you bring her breakfast. I see the wonder in your eyes and how you’re mesmerized as she flirts with you. Oh, yeah. I’ve seen the tiffs, the misunderstandings, the squabbles. But I’ve seen the "I’m sorry." The "I love you." The "I was wrong". I’ve seen the making up…but never the breaking up. Both of you possess the realization of what is really important. And you quickly surrender the acts of your egos to the love in your hearts. When you are together, you feel safe. You feel that you’re home. You feel love. Each of you has a knowing of what a relationship requires to survive and thrive, and you nurture that inner understanding.

Both of you know and do the hardest thing it is to do…unless you love someone the way that the two of you do. And that hard thing is that you allow each other to be Who You Are. You accept each other fully, totally, lovingly. You support each other. You do not inflict your expectations of what the other should be, shouldn’t be, should do, or shouldn’t do. Even if you don’t agree with what the other is doing, you respect the other’s right to do it. You encourage each other to be all the other can be, all that is desired to be.

The Vows

I have never experienced such an outpouring of emotion as I did when I spoke with Brad and Vicki about their vows. Brad talked about his feelings for an hour and a half and Vicki hasn’t shut up for the last three months. Seriously, they each knew exactly the specific emotions and feelings they want to say on this day to their future spouse.

So, now we come to the time where you proclaim to each other, to God and to this company, your love for the other and your intent for this union.

Vicki:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have dreamed of this day. Who would come, what my dress would look like, who I would be saying this to. But during all of those years, I never dreamed of someone as wonderful as you.

You have given me more than words could ever express, more than a lifetime of explanation could allow. I have thought of what I have done to be so fortunate to be loved by you. You make me smile even when I don't think I want to. You take all of those big things I'm worrying about or angry about and make them manageable, understandable and even funny. You have seen my good qualities and also have experienced my lesser ones. You never turned away, never said I shouldn't be anything that I wasn't. You have supported decisions I have made even if you did not agree with them. You accepted me with no conditions. You have not only allowed me to be the person I am, you've encouraged it. And I find that remarkable. You have defined love for me and taught me the true joy it can bring.

As if that were not more than enough reason for me to cherish you, I have also watched you and your love grow as a father to our daughter. I watch your seemingly small deeds for her light up her day. I see a love in her eyes that almost mirrors my own. You are never reserved about showing how deeply you treasure our little girl and I find that beautiful to behold. I love you not only as the person I wish to spend the rest of my life with, but also as the most wonderful father I could have ever hoped for my children.

I want to tell you this - I will always respect your ideas, I will always accept who you are and who you become. I will give you encouragement, strength, comfort, friendship and trust. Knowing what proceeded this moment only makes me anxious for the experiences that lie before us. I can not wait to share my future with you.

Vicki, repeat after me:

I, Vicki, willingly and lovingly, take you Bradley as my Husband. I promise that I will do everything in my power, in my being, to be the best partner for you. I promise that I will love you, respect you, encourage you, support you, and hold you dear to my heart. I promise that I will let you be Who You Are and I look forward to our life that we will create. And this ring is a symbol of my promise.

Brad

I love you. I love exactly who and what you are at this moment. I'll love the person you'll be tomorrow because each day you bring some new facet of yourself into my life. You invite me into your world of unbridled emotions which makes each day with you new and exciting. You have opened my eyes to possibilities and new ideas that I never pondered before. Yes, we're as different as two can be, but our passions for our separate beliefs are in harmony with our common set of values and morals.

Sharing life with you has showed me that I have nothing to prove – to others or to myself. You love me for who I am and not for who you want me to be. You give me security and freedom so I know I can just be myself.

Your love for our daughter and hers for you leaves me awestruck. When I am blessed to witness special moments you have together, I thank God that he brought you into my life- the best possible mother any man could wish for his child. You are allowing her to know what it is like to love fully and freely, as only you could do.

I choose you as my wife not because you’re the mother of my daughter, but because you are the woman who holds my soul in her heart. I couldn't bear today, and don't want to imagine any tomorrow, without you.

 

Brad, repeat after me:

I, Bradley, willingly and lovingly, take you Vicki as my Wife. I promise that I will do everything in my power, in my being, to be the best partner for you. I promise that I will love you, respect you, encourage you, support you, and hold you dear to my heart. I promise that I will let you be Who You Are and I look forward to our life that we will create. And this ring is a symbol of my promise.

The Unity Candle

Amorose and Friend. Two names that literally mean love and friendship. This is a perfect union of the two most important elements of any relationship. The unity candle represents the celebration of the birth of this new entity. As each of you continue to grow individually, you give your love and energy to keeping the flame of your union burning bright. [lighting of candle]

Your love has brought new life, a new love into this world. Kelsea. My first inclination was to tell you all how important this day is to her. But I quickly realized that it is not. Your union will not make you love her any more, nor she you. Her life will not change. She is enveloped in the love of two devoted, caring, loving parents now. She has a home where she feels safe and secure. She will however, see this day as your testament to love. Thirty years from now, when Kelsea comes to you and says, "Tell me, how did you two do for all of these years?" Your response will simply be "We loved each other always… in all ways.

My personal wish for you is that you never stop respecting each other. You Brad will not be the same person today that you will be ten years from now. You, Vicki will not be the same woman you are today 20 years from now. But that is exciting. That is the adventure of life. And as long as you except and respect change, you will always find that you love the person to whom you wake each morning. As you encourage and support each other to grow as individuals, your marriage will always be fresh and new. It will be exciting and full of life. It will never be boring.

Tribute

I would like to end this celebration with a tribute. A tribute which perfectly expresses this relationship between Amorose and Friend, love and friendship.

• I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.

• I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me.

• I love you for the part of me that you bring out.

• I love you for putting your hand into my heaped-up heart and passing over all the foolish and frivolous and weak things which you cannot help dimly seeing there. And for drawing out into the light all the beautiful, radiant belongings - that no one else had looked quite far enough to find.

• I love you for ignoring the possibilities of the fool and weakling in me, and for laying firm hold on the possibilities of good in me.

• I love you for closing your eyes to the discords in me, and for adding to the music in me by worshipful listening.

• I love you because you are helping me to make of the lumber of my life, not a tavern but a Temple, and of the words of my every day, not a reproach but a song.

• I love you because you have done more than any creed could have done to make me good, and more than any fate could have done to make me happy.

You have done it just by being yourself. Perhaps, that is what being a friend means after all.

The most important joining of your hearts and souls happened long ago, but now, by the power vested in me by the State of Florida, I legally pronounce you married. You may kiss your bride.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Brad and Vicki Friend